Dear Daughter: On Being A Woman

Source: Women’s Uncommon Prayers

After months of isolation and moments of despair and disconnect, I offer these words.

Dear Daughter,

When you turned 13, I read this prayer to you. We stood at the edge of a desert labyrinth, surrounded by your friends - with ears perked, all senses tuned in, and my friends - sisters, mothers, wise women filled with a mix of emotion and intention. It was my best effort at creating a rite of passage to signify the journey on which you were about to embark.

Growing up. Becoming a woman.

As a women who is several steps in front of you, I’m honored to name out loud the rules and roles that are placed on you simply because you have certain body parts. These rules and roles - I won’t claim them for you, but I will grab ahold of them, call them out, and drop them into that sacred space between you and me. In that space, we can slow down and get a really good look those rules and roles, curiously examining all sides.

Together, let’s push back on what doesn’t fit just right. Daughter, you get to have standards of your own, based on your lived experience. In doing so, a generative and generous space will be made for resiliency, growth, and connection.

You are much more than a body. Being is more than doing. Who you are is more important than what you have. There is a call - do you hear it? The noise of this world drowns it out. Here it is: You are invited to be more than you believe you can be and less than you pretend to be.

Daughter, I can never know the full joy and deep sorrow that you will experience as you make your way in this world. The best I can do is love you in a way that models the greatest Love we know. A love that made no sense to this world because it spoke up for the prostitute, turned to the beggar, healed the blind man, went after that one lost sheep (leaving the ninety-nine that followed the rules). The Love that defended Mary and asked her to stay in the living room with the men, it’s still around. It’s a mother, a father, a lover, a friend, the light, defiant hope, so much more than my words can capture and explain.

Daughter, I bless you as you have greatly blessed me.

~xo Mom