Story Follows State: The Role Our Nervous System Plays In Our Relationship With Food
Have you ever wondered, “Why did I do that thing I just did?!”
Me too.
The more I learn about the human nervous system, the more I understand human behavior. In 2021, I set a goal to more fully understand the autonomic nervous system and teach my clients about it in the service of supporting healing and wellbeing.
Autonomic Nervous System is a part of the peripheral nervous system (the part of the nervous system outside the brain and spinal cord) that regulates involuntary processes including heart rate, blood pressure, respiration, digestion, and sexual arousal. (1)
Steven Porges developed The Polyvagal Theory to explain the three states of the autonomic nervous system.
I invite you to imagine a ladder.
At the top of the ladder is the part of the autonomic nervous system that comes online when we experience safety. This state is called the Ventral Vagal State. When we are operating in this state, we feel safe with a sense of connection to self, others, the world, and spirit. We are curious, compassionate, creative, and engaged. In this state, you might describe yourself as “I’m fine” and the world as “welcoming”. Your relationship with food is likely neutral and your eating style attuned.
In the middle of the ladder is the part of the autonomic nervous system that comes online when we experience threat. This state is called the Sympathetic State. When we are operating in this state, we have a impulse toward action in the form of fight or flight. We are anxious, angry, overwhelmed. In this state, you might describe yourself as “crazed” and the world as “a dumpster fire”. Your relationship with food may be chaotic and distrustful and your eating style reactionary.
At the bottom of this ladder is the part of the autonomic nervous system that comes online when we shut down in order to survive a threat from which we can no longer fight or escape. This state is called the Dorsal Vagal State. When we are operating in this state, we are immobilized and shut down. We feel hopeless, helpless, and disconnected. In this state, you might describe yourself as “invisible” and the world as “uninhabitable”. Your relationship with food might be dismissive and your eating style disconnected to your wants and needs.
The reason I want you to know about The Polyvagal Theory and the workings of our autonomic nervous system is that it may help you get unstuck if you have found yourself stalled out in your journey towards a more peaceful relationship with food and your body.
The autonomic nervous system...
responses are automatic (split second and unconscious) actions in service of survival.
doesn’t judge good or bad, it acts to manage risk and seek safety.
Polyvagal Theory reveals…
Perception is more important than reality. Personal perception, not the actual facts of an experience flavors how we understand an experience. This does not mean we have to agree with our automatic perception of an experience, but it helps us to make sense of why things happen the way they do.
The autonomic nervous system has assessed a situation and started the survival response long before the “thinking/planning” part of our brain makes meaning based on values and long-term consequences.
“Story follows state”.
If you are in Sympathetic State, everything will feel like a threat
That “look” he gave me meant he was mad. No wonder he stormed off.
That box of donuts in the break room is the enemy.
If you are in Dorsal State, all is hopeless
I don’t deserve acknowledgement, love, or respect.
It doesn’t even matter what I eat, I’m a failure no matter what I do.
If you are in Ventral Vagal State, you see all the options and feel a sense of choice and optimism
It’s okay that he left without saying goodbye, he had a lot on his mind this morning.
That donut is the perfect fit for breakfast since all I had time for so far was a cup of coffee and that handful of peanuts I managed to eat during the morning hustle and bustle.
While knowing about Polyvagal Theory won’t “solve” your problems around food, it may help you understand and appreciate the protective intent of your autonomic responses. It may be just the thing you need to help reduce the shame and self-blame you have around “why I do the things I do” around food choices.
If you are interested in mapping your autonomic nervous system states (including how you behave with food and your eating habits), here is a resource to help you get started. The following instructions for completion of this exercise come from the text The Polyvagal Theory in Therapy: Engaging the Rhythm of Regulation by Deb Dana.
Directions for completing:
For each section, choose a colored marker that represents the autonomic state. Remember a time when you felt the sense of activation in that state. For sympathetic and dorsal vagal, invite just enough activation into mind and body awareness to get a flavor of the state. For ventral vagal, bring the full experience into mind and body awareness (from core to skin) and let the state come to life.
Start with Sympathetic state (middle), move down to Dorsal state (bottom), and finish in Ventral Vagal (top).
For each section, describe body sensations, emotions, thoughts, and behaviors.
What happens in your body?
What do you do?
What do you feel?
What do you think and say?
How is your sleep affected?
How is your appetite and how do you relate to food?
How is your use of substances and addictive behaviors impacted?
After completing each section, fill in the blank:
“I am…”
“The world is…”
These two sentences identify core beliefs at work in each state.
The rectangles on the side of each section of the ladder are for your clients to label dorsal, sympathetic, and ventral in your own words.
Need assistance in completing this exercise? Reach out. I’d love to help you put words to an often wordless experience of why you do the things you do (especially around food). With this newfound knowledge, we can find a way to help you move into Ventral Vagal. We don’t get to say when we react in fight, flight, or collapse, but we can practice together to get more skilled in the ways of returning to safety, connection, and hope.