Nutrition As Self-Care
In the age of intermittent fasting, the ketogenic diet, clean eating, the anti-inflammatory diet, etc. we are often left with a feeling of total confusion and complete fear about what and how to eat.
In my two decades of working as a dietitian nutritionist, I’ve seen diet fads come and go and come again (sometimes sneakily changing their names). Folks show up to my office looking for answers. I welcome them in, offer them a comfy seat, softly close the door, look them right in the eyeballs and say,
“You are safe here.”
Okay, I don’t exactly say that, but I want to. Actual conversation starters usually begin with a form of “Tell me about your relationship with food, the diets you’ve tried, and food rules you are trying to live up to.”
It’s not just at work. I’m met with the question of “What are we supposed to be eating?” from friends and even strangers. Just the other day in the cereal aisle a woman said, “I need fiber, but I heard gluten is bad. What even is gluten?!” I just gave her a symbolic side hug and a shoulder shrug saying, “All the messages are so confusing! What sounds good?”
If you’re confused about food, you are not alone.
I’m trained in the art of nutrition science and I feel the same way - daunted, faced with a mountain of information to sift through to figure out what really matters.
We don’t have time for that! We need to save our energy for sifting through the toy box to find the precious pacifier at nap time. We need to preserve our sanity for sifting through the backpacks to find the permission slips to sign. And, more importantly, we need to focus our brain power on making this world a kinder, fairer, safer place.
Take heart, I’ve done the sifting for you. Here’s what shook out. It’s called nutrition as self-care. Not “nutrition for gut health” or “nutrition for losing belly fat”. Seriously, we need to put those notions on the laundry room shelf, sis. Better yet, in trash bin. They’re not serving us EVER, especially when we are feeling overwhelmed and confused (and tired because children keep waking up with bloody noses at 2am because POLLEN).
Nutrition as self-care can help cut through the noise of diet culture. It’s compassion centered and resilience-enhancing. It makes space -at the table, in your brain, and heart.
A Guide for Nutrition as Self-Care:
1. I’m done with dieting, now what?
Eat at regular intervals throughout the day. Include food that
sounds good to you
matches your hunger
feels good in your body
you have the time and skill to prepare
you can safely store
fits your budget.
You are stepping onto solid ground and finding your bearings here. This is an especially important starting place if you don’t experience hunger cues and are learning to come back to your body. These are the basics and we can stop here and call it good. I promise. You can stop right here and rest. Now, kick back and switch on an episode of Schitt’s Creek or crack spent that Angie Thomas book that finally came in from the library.
Oh, hi. Interested in more? Read on.
2. I’m eating regularly, feeling nourished, and noticing my body’s cues, now what?
This next step of nutrition as self-care focuses on forming an alliance with your body and healing your relationship with food. Here is where you start to add variety and balance to meals and snacks based on signals your body is giving to you.
This is the place where we show up with curiosity and ask: “How does eating Takis and a Golden Eagle Frost at every meal make me feel?” Also, “How does eating a grilled chicken breast and steamed broccoli at every meal make me feel?” And, maybe, “Is McDonald’s so bad?” You get the point: I’m not discriminating.
You might remember this style of eating from when you were growing up and it looked like chicken and rice casserole with broccoli and applesauce on Thursdays. Or, popcorn, cheese slices, pickles and apple slices on Sunday nights. Also, Burger King’s chicken sandwich and french fries after gymnastics on Tuesday. Listen, it can be as simple as a peanut butter sandwich and sliced cucumbers - my son on repeat. Or, eggs, banana bread, and carrot sticks - my other son on repeat a couple of months ago. I’m inviting you to give permission and stay curious.
These examples are informed by my culture and experience. You have your own culture and experience - let that be your guide, always. Your body knows , she holds memories. Start there.
What are your favorite foods from childhood before you were touched by diet culture? That could be a good place to start.
3. There are external factors coming into play, now what?
Sometimes we have real life conditions that could make eating specific foods or food groups important.
For instance, constipation. Focusing on drinking plenty of liquid and eating bountiful amounts of soluble fiber can offer real solutions for bowel irregularity (and so can a squatty potty and Miralax, by the way).
This is the phase where gluten-free would fit if you have an allergy to gluten. Here is where the assistance from a nutrition/health coach/healthcare professional may be imperative. Know this: Even in this phase, there is room for flexibility and grace. Here is where we especially need to treat ourselves with compassion and care.
There you have it. Nutrition as self-care.
Nutrition as self-care is the best of friends to Real Life. Nutrition as self-care would be the one to bring homemade chocolate chip cookies to the hospital when Real Life has her first baby. Nutrition as self-care brings a Happy Meal and stuffed animals when Real Life’s son is in the ER for chin stitches. Nutrition as self-care shares her recipe for crustless quiche when Real Life’s kids decide they hate delicious, flaky pastry crust. Nutrition as self-care has your back and holds your heart.
Here’s a short story I’d like to call “A Day of Real Life Eating by way of Nutrition as Self-Care.”
Key players: four young children and my fragile lower back (she’s the boss of my whole life)
Breakfast: Pop-Tarts. Because I overslept and wanted to take a quick walk and do my back-strengthening exercises instead of making the whole-grain, from-scratch pancakes - the ingredients were there but not the time. I had to make a choice.
Kids’ lunch: A lunchable. Because round, flat turkey slices and square American cheese pieces on a Ritz cracker just hits the spot. I will admit, the packaging makes me crazy, so I worship the lunch monitor who makes sure every possible item gets recycled.
Dinner: Frozen pizza and bagged salad. Because my back is aching by this point and we just spent two hours in the doctor’s office with my youngest child for treatment of nursemaid’s elbow. If you don’t know what nursemaid’s elbow is, it’s that thing where your child’s elbow has slipped out of its normal place at the joint because you may have slightly overreacted and grabbed him a little too aggressively when he ran towards a busy street. It’s painful, but not as painful as being hit by a car. So, you’re welcome.
Snacks: No snacks because someone ate the granola bars but left the empty box in the pantry, tricking me into thinking the supply was adequate. Will I ever learn? Also, the bananas had the beginning hints of a brown spots near the stem (don’t get me started). Oh, wait. We ate mints and pretzels. That 100% counts.
The end.
The balanced food group factor didn’t star in this day’s meals but the food we ate sounded good and matched our hunger and left us feeling good enough. It was food that was stored safely in my cupboards and refrigerator, and it fit my budget (so, now I can pay all four field trips fees that are suddenly due on the same day).
My children, my spouse, my fragile back and I fell asleep that night with our basic needs met. That’s nutrition as self-care.
But, Liz! You can’t eat like this every day! What about HEALTH!? Great question, to which I reply: What do you mean by health?
For the purpose of this post, I will say real health is not found by following a set of rigid diet rules. If that statement stirs up something in you, good. It should.
“You have a choice. You can stay in the current, dominant paradigm: you can choose self-hatred, suffering, food and body preoccupation. It is the only choice that most people know about and see being enacted through social media, print media, television, movies, and music. It’s literally everywhere. Dieting is so alluring: the promise that once you become thinner through dieting, everything will change for the better. You spend a lot of time thinking about and waiting to lose weight so that your life can truly begin.”
— LUCY APHRAMOR
Let’s circle back to all those diets mentioned at the start of this post. Dieting (known these days as Lifestyle Change) is alluring. It’s also confusing, contradicting, time-consuming, and costly on many levels. Please don’t think for one minute that you need to measure your worth against fickle food rules. Diets aren’t the boss of you. You’re the boss of you (and maybe your lower back has a major say. Or, -your toddler). You don’t have to wait to participate in this life. It can begin right now. Or, after a couple of episodes of Schitt’s Creek. Your call.