Remove Your Shoes, Please.
In many households in this great big world, when you enter a house, you take off your shoes as an act of respect. I’ve heard the writer/teacher, Ocean Vuong, use the practice of removing shoes to describe his intentions when addressing a group: “When I read or give lectures or when I teach, I lower my voice. I want to make my words deliberate; I want to take off the shoes of my voice so that I can enter a place with care so that I can do the work that I need to do.”
When I sit with people in sessions, the topics of body hatred, body mistrust, and even body disgust often weave their way into our conversation. I’ve heard some pretty terrible things said about the human body (both form and function). Despite the years of work I’ve done in the area of body acceptance and body liberation, I still notice critical thoughts about my body lurking in the corners of my own mind.
My invitation to you this week is to find an alternative way to talk about your body (in your head and out loud).
What would it look like to “take off the shoes of your words” so that you can interact with respect and care with your body? By taking the shoes off of your words, you reduce the risk of tracking in grime and pollutants of the outside world. With the shoes of your words removed, the likeliness of making grounded contact with your body increases.
Practice: Taking the Shoes Off of Your Words. Side-stepping Bad Body Talk (Critical Self-Talk):
Instead of: My life is such a mess. I’m such a mess
Try: Like all humans, my life is full of complexities and times of struggle. I’m feeling overwhelmed right now and could use help getting my thought organized.
Instead of: I need to go on a cleanse to fit into these jeans.
Try: I deserve to have clothing that fits me. I’m going to invest in some new jeans.
Instead of: My peri-menopausal body is flabby and bloated. I should probably stop eating XYZ.
Try: My body is changing as all bodies do. My body deserves a variety of nourishment no matter her shape and size.
Instead of: I’ve really let myself go.
Try: Thank goodness I no longer feel the need to be swept up in dieting and punishing exercise. There are so many more sustainable and joy-filled ways to care for my body.
Instead of: I’m going to light a match on my old habits and walk away from these bad eating habits.
Try: I’m going to work to lay a new foundation for habits that are sustainable and achievable.
What are you ideas for how to flip the script on bad body talk? I’d love to here from you in the comments. Also, if you would like help coming up with a new way to speak about your body, reach out for help.