When Intention Does Not Bring About Action: Dinnertime Disruptors
You aren’t alone if you are in a slump with meal planning. I hear it all the time - inside my own head and with my clients. It sounds something like:
I was doing so great. I was in a flow.
I’d plan the meals on the weekend and do a big shopping haul. It made the week go so much better. Now, 7pm rolls around and I’m calling for takeout or pouring a bowl of cereal.
Don’t get me wrong, there is absolutely nothing wrong with takeout or cereal for supper. The rub here is when those things don’t line up with your values and intentions.
If you are feeling in a slump with purposeful meal planning and it’s a value of yours to be more intentional, here are some ideas to get back in the game.
Reflect with compassion
Take a moment to think about a time when you were planning and prepping.
Ask: What was going on in me life at that time that supported me in prioritizing these actions?
This is a compassionate care approach to get started. The truth is, there are numerous external factors that impact our ability to think creatively and act with intention. Life events over which we have very little (if any) control. If you are (in this present moment) dealing with stressful life events, your nervous system’s threat response (and the cascade of hormones like adrenaline and cortisol) can keep your brain out of the planning-for-the-future mode.
If you are out of ideas and energy, that tells me you are overwhelmed.
Ask: What is the source of my overwhelm?
A nervous system that is busy responding to threats (deadlines, a perpetually cluttered home because children keep dumping out the toy box, WiFi going down during an important work/school Zoom call, etc.) has very little access to the part of the brain where creativity and future thinking reside. If you’re running from a tiger or fighting off a swarm of bees, you would never be thinking about what to serve for supper.
Regulate
If stress is behind your lack of motivation to feed yourself and those you love, keep ordering takeout, honey!! Don’t try to regulate your nervous system to diet culture and it’s high standards of “clean eating” and time-intensive recipes.
Let’s talk about truly regulating your nervous system (aka helping you feel more comfortable and grounded). If you are stressed and running on fumes, the first thing is to name the truth: I’m stressed. Are there any shifts that you could make to get more support from family and friends, deep and restorative rest, sunlight + fresh air, hydration, and gentle movement?
Notice I did not recommend cutting out food groups or adding an expensive super food to treat stress. From personal and professional experience, food group/macro restriction and use of miracle ingredients only serve to add MORE stress.
Turmeric, apple cider vinegar, lemon water, ketosis, and intermittent fasting will NOT help you manage the stress of pandemics, raising small children, getting through a break-up, raising teenagers, and the like (ever, ever, ever, Amen).
For true regulation to take place, we often need another human to help us co-regulate. A more grounded (less stressed) individual can help support you to go into your body and start to put language to the sensations and emotions that are going on in there. A safe-other can help to structure safety to make feelings of stress and overwhelm more tolerable while supporting strategies to discharge the big emotions in a kind and nonjudgmental way.
Comfort Care; Lean on easily accessible Food
Perhaps you have an internal thought or external voice telling you not to reach for convenient food. I believe you. You are not alone. And…you still need to eat. A well-fed you will more easily be able to identify sources of stress and find sustainable ways to support care.
Invite and make room for ease in your pursuit of weekly recipes and meals:
Get take out.
Reach out to a friend for help. Maybe you BFF has the best casserole in the country and has been looking for a reason to make it (because her own children will not eat it...this is me, ps).
Dry Cereal, Muffins, and frozen foods (waffles, breakfast sandwiches) for breakfast (or any meal, for that matter) .
Sandwiches with canned soup.
Look for prepared dishes that can be combined with fresh ingredients. My go-to is frozen lasagne with salad (Dole’s Caesar Salad kit is my fave).
Make a big batch of soup on your least busy day. Change up the side dish you serve with the soup to keep things exciting. Potato chips one day and ritz crackers the next. A simple green salad one day and a deli-made coleslaw the next. An apple with cheese slice one day and from-the-can mandarin oranges with a handful of cashews the next.
Being organized around eating may be a value of yours. My encouragement is to tell a bigger story of the barriers to you living into your intentions.
Reach out for support. You don’t have to do this work alone!